


Body Heat

by SugarCrystal



Series: Bunkmates with Benefits [4]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Anal Sex, Established Relationship, Heatwave, M/M, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 23:44:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20591093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarCrystal/pseuds/SugarCrystal
Summary: The air-con is on the blink and everyone is too hot.





	Body Heat

**Author's Note:**

> This one was inspired by the recent heatwave in the UK but I didn't get around to finishing it until after the weather started getting cold again.

Rimmer sat at the table in his pyjamas, trying to take his mind off the heat by making a new revision timetable. He took occasional swigs from a bottle of water as he worked, staying hydrated in hot weather was good for the brain, he'd read that somewhere, and presumably the same applied here even though it wasn't technically 'weather'.  
Lister was lying on his stomach on Rimmer's bunk, idly flicking through a guitar magazine, and Rimmer was trying hard not to look.

"Lister, if you must lounge around on my bunk, please put some clothes on," he said eventually.

"Why? I'd have thought you were used to seeing me naked by now."

"Yes, but I'm trying to make a revision timetable here and your beautiful arse is distracting me."

"My _what_ arse?!"

"You heard," Rimmer sniffed.

"Well, that's a change. You used to call me an ugly little goit." Lister rolled over onto his back, giving Rimmer a full eyeful, and stretched himself out, trying to get some cool air to his limbs. Which was futile as there was no cool air in the room.

Rimmer twitched. "Can you _please_ put something on?"

"I'm smegging hot, man!"

"I'm hot too, Lister! The whole ship is hot until they get the air-con fixed. That doesn't mean all propriety and decorum can just go out of the window. I'm sure Captain Hollister isn't lounging around naked, eating doughnuts."

"Thanks for that image!"

"Yes, well...," Rimmer agreed awkwardly, wishing he hadn't thought of it himself. He took another sip of water.

"Anyway, he's got a smegging fan in his room," Lister pointed out. The whole officer class had fans in their quarters, the admins had fans on their desks, and even the catering unit had fans in the kitchens. It was only the schmucks down at the bottom rungs of the ladder who had to swelter in the heat all day and night. 

It was even too hot to smoke, Lister hadn't had a cigarette all day and his body was craving nicotine. To take his mind off it, he wandered over to peer over Rimmer's shoulder at his timetable and Rimmer tried to pointedly ignore the large appendage hanging freely just behind his left shoulder or the smell of Lister's sweat.  
Lister knew Rimmer's colour code by now. Green was revision time, green and white diagonal stripes was self-testing time, white was a rest period, yellow was a meal break, blue was sleep, blue and white diagonal stripes was sleep with a self-hypnosis learning aid tape playing. Red was new, though.

"What's red?"

"That's you!" said Rimmer, smiling as though he expected Lister to be pleased.

"You mean sex?" Lister clarified. "You're _scheduling_ sex with me?"

"Well, I don't want to just give it up during revision time. You should be pleased. You can consider it a compliment to your abilities."

"And what happens if I don't happen to be in the mood when the timeslot comes around or if I'm already doing something else?"

"There's a contingency for that," said Rimmer proudly. "I go swimming instead."

"Do you know how lucky you are to have me? Most people wouldn't put up with smeg like this." He reached out and ruffled Rimmer's hair. 

Rimmer scowled and firmly removed Lister's hand from his head. His hair was messy enough from sweat without Lister making it worse.

Lister collapsed back into Rimmer's bunk and used his magazine to fan himself, he was feeling sticky all over again.  
He didn't say anything aloud but privately he was glad Rimmer would obviously never pass an officer's exam. He didn't want to lose Rimmer into the officer ranks and have to work Z-Shift with somebody else. More importantly, they wouldn't be sharing a bunkroom anymore either. He suspected (hoped) that Rimmer felt the same and was only taking an exam which would mean losing Lister if he passed because he _knew_ that he didn't actually have a snowflake's chance in Hell of passing and was only going on with the charade out of stubbornness.

"You know, you don't look great in those pyjamas, they're hideous," he remarked as a change of subject. "You should stick to the white underwear."

"They're ship issue pyjamas," Rimmer grumbled.

"Yeah, and you're the only person on the whole smegging ship who wears them."

"How could you possibly know that?" Rimmer pointed out.

"Well, alright, I don't actually _know_, but I'd bet it's true." Who else on board would bother getting a pair of such unflattering sleepwear instead of just sleeping in their underwear? Or naked, in this heat. After all, if they didn't look good on Rimmer, they were hardly going to look good on anyone else. "Anyway, you'd be cooler in the underwear."

Rimmer had to admit his usual preference for over-starched pyjamas was a bit stifling in this heat, even if he slept on top of his duvet. And he didn't really want to go to bed sweaty, even if he woke up sweaty. And he had had enough of being tormented by the sight of Lister's glistening naked body.

"You're right, I would." He stood up and began to unbutton the pyjamas, causing Lister to perk up immediately. "But you know what I could do with before bed, Listy? A shower."

"Is that an invitation?"

Rimmer let the pyjamas drop to the floor and stepped out of them. "If you want it to be." 

"Okay!" Lister leapt out of the bunk and grabbed his towel.

Rimmer tied his own starched towel around his waist, folded his pyjamas onto his bunk, collected his shower gel and shampoo and headed for the door, Lister following him like an eager puppy.

Fortunately, despite the heat, the communal showers were currently unoccupied. The puddles of water on the floor and condensation on the pipes and walls made the room a bit cooler than most of the ship.

"This is a bit better," Lister remarked, his voice echoing slightly in the empty room.

"Indeed."

Lister slid his sweaty arms around Rimmer's equally sweaty shoulders and pulled him down for a steamy kiss and Rimmer felt the bulge of Lister's growing erection through their towels

"Impatient for your superior's cock, Listy?” he said smugly.

"Smeg off," Lister replied easily.

Rimmer shrugged. Oh well, worth a try.

Lister released him, dropped his towel, and stepped backwards past the cheap plastic curtain. Rimmer tutted to himself as he picked up Lister's towel and neatly folded it on the towel rail, then added his own before following Lister. 

Lister gave the metal handle a sharp tug, towards the 'cold' end and stepped under the spray, shuddering at the first hit of cold water. The heat gradually left his body as the cooling water flooded down his skin and through his hair. "Ah, smeg, that's better!"

Rimmer took in the sight of Lister's naked body complete with full erection, as he stood under the shower, rivulets of water running down his soft brown skin, with his head tipped back and eyes closed to get the full benefit of the cooling water over his face. His own cock now rock hard and leaking in response.

Lister opened his eyes and looked at him. "So, are you just gonna stand there and watch or are you gonna join me?" He moved aside to make room for him under the spray.

Rimmer stuck one hand under the water, testing the temperature, and then stepped under the spray and let the cooling water wash over his body.  
Lister grabbed his face between both hands and kissed him, the salty taste of sweat being washed away from Rimmer's skin and replaced with the clean taste of fresh water. Rimmer's erection brushed against his own and Lister moaned appreciatively into Rimmer's mouth, then released him. He fell back against the wall and began lightly stroking himself as he watched Rimmer.  
Rimmer took the chance to start getting clean, soaping his hair up with shampoo, washing away the accumulated sweat and let the lather run down his body to wash away down the drain whilst Lister stood watching and playing with his cock.

"Want something, Listy?"

"You know I do," Lister purred.

"What do you want, Listy?" Rimmer smirked as he stepped out from under the shower spray.

"Don't be a smeghead." Lister turned to face the wall, pointing his arse invitingly in Rimmer's direction. "Just do it."

"Okay, miladdo." Rimmer grabbed a bar of soap and used it to lubricate himself. "You asked for it." He wrapped his arms firmly around Lister's wet, slippery body and kissed the side of his neck as he used the fingers of one hand to spread Lister's buttocks apart.

"Yeah," Lister moaned. "Oh smeg!" His cries echoed around the tiled room as Rimmer took him, hard and fast against the wall.

"Be quiet!" Rimmer hissed in his ear. "Do you want the whole ship to know?" He grabbed Lister's cock and pumped him rapidly until he came over the white ceramic tiles.

When Rimmer pulled out of him, Lister could feel the stickiness he left behind. He twisted around in Rimmer's grip and kissed him. "I love it when you do that," he admitted.

"Do what?" asked Rimmer, genuinely not understanding.

"Finish inside me without a condom," Lister murmured against his ear.

Rimmer smiled. In one way, he rather liked it himself, in the other way; that involved keeping clean, he didn't. But as they were already in the shower, covered in soap and water, it was okay. He held Lister close for a few seconds, relaxing and basking in him until he realised they needed to finish showering. 

He directed the shower spray to wash away where Lister had come on the wall, then poured out a handful of shower gel and gave them both a quick but thorough scrub all over before turning off the water. They were both quite cold by the time they finished. Although, the way the temperature was in their quarters, that wouldn't last long.

As they emerged into the changing area, Rimmer gave an unmanly shriek and grabbed his towel. First Officer Todhunter was leaning against the wall by the sinks. 

He quirked an eyebrow at them. "Well, I wasn't expecting it to be you two."

"I beg your pardon, Sir?" gabbled Rimmer as he wrestled the towel around himself.

"I had a complaint about lewd behaviour in the men's shower room. But I wasn't expecting it to be you of all people, I thought you didn't like each other."

"Hey, we're not..., dating or nothing," Lister protested, wrestling with his own towel. "It's just sort of...,"

"I told you you were being too loud!" Rimmer squawked over the top of him. "Now look what you've done! We're going to be blackmailed into a threesome with him in exchange for his silence!"

Lister stared at him. "Rimmer, what smegging planet are you fr...? Scratch that, I _know_ what planet you're from. He's not going to do any such thing!"

"Of course not," said Todhunter mildly. "That would be a terrible career move, not to mention completely immoral. I was just going to give you an informal warning about not having sex in the public areas in future. That's what your bunkroom is for. Though I am pleased to see you two are getting on a bit better."

"Oh, right," Rimmer muttered. "Erm..., sorry. Sir."

Lister looked at his expression. "Rimmer, finding out you're _not_ going to be blackmailed into sex isn't something to be disappointed about!"

Smegging hell, he'd created a monster.


End file.
